I’ve yet to officially sign up for this year’s NaNo, I’m still intending to (mostly) but I’m don’t feel quite ready to commit to it yet. I had been feeling quite positive about it, but I started reading Lavondyss by Robert Holdstock and slid back into apprehension. He wrote Tallis’s visions so seamlessly and although you know they feature heavily throughout the book, you never feel bored by their frequency, only anticipation of what otherworldly events will transpire. I need to build that but self doubt keeps stabbing me in the gut. I don’t know what I’m bitching for, I doubt there’s ever been a writer who was entirely self assured, including Holdstock. I’m not generally a reader of modern fiction and of the sci-fi I’ve been reading, the stories have been compelling but the style of writing hasn’t been to my taste. I’ve read Lolita a number of times over the years, primarily because of the way Nabakov wrote. From my very first reading of it, I thought it read like poetry written in prose. The language was never ornate but somehow still lyrical, something Holdstock mastered and I covet. I’ve yet to decide whether it’s a good or a bad thing to discover a writer that’s everything you want to be. As much as you can see “how it’s done”, the thought of not only recreating the style but doing so in a way that makes it wholly your own, is daunting. I really shouldn’t be worrying about this right now, NaNo’s for drafting, not creating a finished piece.

In other NaNo news, I’m actually going to meet up with some Leicester WriMos today. I don’t really do socialising anymore, especially with new people, but I thought it was probably about time I had another crack at it. I’m hoping that meeting up with other local participants will make the whole experience easier what with us all sharing a common goal.

Here’s to getting my shit together within the next 17 days and enjoying the company of people also plagued by NaNo nerves.